Dear Parents Who Wonder If The Struggle Is Worth It;
I know you love your child fiercely. I know this because as parents, we share one fundamental truth: we’d move mountains to protect our kids from pain or struggle.
But what if in our most loving moments, our instinct to rescue could unintentionally rob our children of the very strength they'll need to survive and thrive?
Let me share an example from nature:
Imagine watching a butterfly emerge from its cocoon. It’s a struggle—slow, messy, and seemingly exhausting. You might feel an urge to intervene, gently peeling away the cocoon. But in doing so, you’d unintentionally doom the butterfly.
It’s the struggle itself that builds strength, fills wings, and makes flight possible. Without that struggle, a butterfly cannot survive.
Credit for the Acton Learner Ingredients to Acton NW Indy: https://actonindy.org/
At Acton Academy, we hold the same principle close: the learning is birthed in the struggle. It’s not easy to watch a child wrestle with frustration, disappointment, or failure. But the challenge is to NOT rescue in these moments—not because we don’t care, but precisely because we care so deeply about who they're becoming.
Think for a moment about the message we inadvertently send when we rush in to rescue. Might we be silently saying, “I don’t believe you’re capable of handling this?” Is it possible that every quick solution robs our children of essential opportunities to grow confident and strong?
To Rescue Is To Steal
Acton Academy deliberately offers young learners a safe environment to experience real challenges. It’s designed not just for the present but to equip them for a future still being invented—a future that will require courage, adaptability, and resilience far beyond what any academics can teach.
Think of it like choosing to enter a Spartan Race. No one signs up for a Spartan Race believing it’ll be easy—they choose it precisely because it’s difficult. They embrace mud, walls, ropes, and hurdles, knowing these obstacles build strength, grit, and the exhilarating feeling of triumph. At Acton, your child embarks each day on a similar adventure, meeting challenges head-on and growing stronger with every difficulty they conquer.
When your child faces a tough project, a major disappointment, a disagreement with a peer, or a personal setback, the temptation to jump in can be overwhelming.
But before you rescue, pause for just a moment and ask yourself:
- What if this challenge is precisely what my child needs to become resilient and resourceful?
- How can I communicate my belief in my child’s capacity to find their own way through this?
- Can I trust that they are stronger and more capable than this one moment of difficulty might suggest?
Choosing to support instead of rescue isn’t about ignoring pain; it's about preparing your child for greater victories tomorrow. It’s about helping them build their own wings, ready to fly confidently into an uncertain, ever-changing future.
At Acton, your child hears daily: “Heroes do hard things.”
As a parent, will you help us echo this truth at home as well? Are you ready to make your family’s mindset one that embraces challenge and values growth?
Consider sitting with these thoughts today:
- Am I choosing to defend who my child is right now, or helping them grow into who they could become?
- Am I willing to be part of an educational experience built on the belief that the greatest rewards come through struggle?
Your answer is not for me. The honest reflection is the first step toward heroically parenting a child who will confidently shape a life worth living.
Warmly… and with a smile amidst the grit and struggle,
~ Tobin